[Okay, okay, so she's acting like all the other girls who 'arrived' at his place before... damnit, he thought he was getting better at this whole coolness thing!]
Who am I!? You just told me how much you like my dance number, and you actually have to ASK who I am!? I'm the mighty Ultros, damnit! Famed in story and song, known for his deadly Tentacle technique that sends you to Heaven!
...And no, you don't get to start adding 'in bed' to the things I say. ONE TIME WAS ENOUGH.
Real live octopus ROYALTY, thank you. And hey, you're just a (really hot) character from a comic book, but that isn't stopping this conversation, now is it?
[Ultros SCOFFS at your pathetic Fourth Wall! He laughs it to scorn!]
A COMIC BOOK character. A person who has 99% of her daily life shown in shiny books that come out about once a month, that lonely guys all around the world stare at while they're alone and in bed.
...
Uh. Not that I'D know anything about that, of course. And I certainly don't have a pinup of you on the back of my door or anything NO WAIT DON'T LOOK-
[Oh, he's an offended octopus now! He squibbled frantically, tentacles waving in agitation.]
The NERVE of you! You think you can just barge right into a mollusc's home, comment favorably about his video selection, then try to walk off with his room decorations? That poster was EXPENSIVE, you know! If you want it, you're gonna have to give me something in return, like sexy fun times a kiss!
[Honestly, it's a good thing she doesn't know about his creepy Stalker Shrine in the basement.]
[He'd backed up at the sight of the royally pissed woman, back away back away...
But at the last, he managed to find himself a backbone. (Not HIS, of course, but one he'd collected as a souvenir.) And he drew himself up in squelchy defiance!]
You wanna hit me, Hotness? Then HIT ME! I still won't be giving up my precious poster, because...
[And that's when the guitar came out. He's got a SONG to sing!]
[The octopus nodded hastily even as he cringed away, eyes lowered to avoid meeting her glare and pissing her off even more.]You got it honey I won't tell them anything
I- I tripped, and... and fell down some stairs, yeah that's it
Perfectly normal and not any abuse at all, you wouldn't hurt me unless I made you I'm sorry bein' so BAD, baby
[Since he's too afraid to look her in the eye, he's looking down at the remains of his guitar instead... and kinda sounding like he wants to cry.]
[Ultros skittered away from her pointing finger, clutching his head and trying to avoid any followup violence.]NO BABY DON'T HIT ME!
[The officers had immediately grabbed at their guns when the octopus started yelling, but when it didn't look like any violence was about to occur they let go again.
Even so, Rogue was getting a DISTINCTLY skeptical look from the both of them.]
"Ma'am, that's a right bruised-up fellow you got there- and is that a BOOTprint on his head? Looks to be about your size, too... Daresay y'all ought to come back to the station house with us, answer a few questions."
[Of course, it was at this point that Ultros managed to mollusc up and tackle the officer who'd been getting out his handcuffs- He hadn't intended to use them unless it was necessary, but Ultros didn't know that!]
IT WASN'T HER I DID IT IT WAS ALL ME DON'T YOU EVEN THINK OF TAKIN' HER AWAY SHE DOESN'T MEAN TO HURT ME I LOVE HER!
[With wide eyes Rogue watched the scene unfold. She couldn't even form a cohesive thought about it. Just...wtf...]
Git offa 'im!
[Being the super strong woman she is, she was easily able to pick Ultros up with both hands and hold him over her head. She grimaced as she did so, watching his tentacles flail about.]
Officers, Ah'm awful sorry about all of this. Ah've never met this thing in mah life 'til now.
[His tentacles twitched around her arms spasmodically, as her superhuman grip sank into his boneless head; it was like she was SQUEEZING HIS BRAIN.
And at this point, the police have their guns out and pointed in her direction, as they stare with wide and frightened eyes.]
"Jenkins! We got a Metahuman Abuse situation on our hands, call for backup!" [And while Jenkins in his cruiser called out a Code 12814, the policeman that was still standing addressed Rogue... and his voice only shook slightly.]
"Now ma'am, it would be in everyone's best interests if you put the slimy disgusting citizen down and just stepped away. We don't want any trouble, and hopefully you don't neither; let's just set down the ugly octopus and all behave like rational people."
[The officer in question may have a SERIOUS chip on his shoulder when it comes to invertebrates, spineless bastards that they were, but he wasn't going to let his personal opinions interfere with his duty to protect the peace. And Ultros? Well, right now Ultros could taste yellow and smell music; his brain isn't getting treated very well at the moment.]
[Hmm, so that advice he got from that dude in the junkyard was LEGIT! Talk about yourself, and girls will think you're interesting...]
Well, I could tell you all about my exciting and glamorous adventures as a gladiator aerial cowboy love machine, but words are so cheap anymore... Why don't I SHOW you?
[She called him 'dear!' Wow, his mojo must REALLY be on today.]
No trick at all, sweet thang. It just goes a little bit something like this...
MIIIIISTER CHUUUUPON!!!!!!
[And down comes his buddy, sweeping pinkly in from a bright blue sky! And crashing through one of his windows damnit, this ALWAYS happens! Still, the important point is impressing the girl!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 05:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-12 05:43 am (UTC)A GIRL actually visited HIM? Holy crap, this was a red-letter day! Okay Ultros, be suave, be cool...]
Well of course you did, Gorgeous. It's all about sophistication and CLASS, don'cha know. And speaking of classy...
[He'll come in to take her hand, meaning to bestow a slimy kiss on the back of her glove.]
Do you spend much time in forests? Because baby, I'd swear you fell out of the sexy tree and hit every branch on the way down.
THAT ICON! XD
Date: 2010-08-12 05:53 am (UTC)[She quickly jerked her hand away him, clutching it to her chest with her other hand. Her brow furrowed as she stared down at him.]
Keep ya slimey paws offa me! Or whatevah ya wanna call those things. Who are ya, anyway?
*Bows* I live to serve.
Date: 2010-08-12 06:04 am (UTC)Who am I!? You just told me how much you like my dance number, and you actually have to ASK who I am!? I'm the mighty Ultros, damnit! Famed in story and song, known for his deadly Tentacle technique that sends you to Heaven!
...And no, you don't get to start adding 'in bed' to the things I say. ONE TIME WAS ENOUGH.
...I so want that plushie... XD
Date: 2010-08-12 06:13 am (UTC)[She pauses for a second, glancing up at the video, then back to him.]
Ya mean...you're Ultros? [Does another double take]
Sorry, Ah jus'...thought ya were a character in a videogame. Not a real live octopus.
Everyone does! :D
Date: 2010-08-12 06:40 am (UTC)Real live octopus ROYALTY, thank you. And hey, you're just a (really hot) character from a comic book, but that isn't stopping this conversation, now is it?
[Ultros SCOFFS at your pathetic Fourth Wall! He laughs it to scorn!]
UHN THAT ICON NOW! XD
Date: 2010-08-12 06:44 am (UTC)[Haha. Silly Rogue. Only Barakapool gets to know the secrets of the Marvel universe in correlation to our own.]
(It was one I'm PARTICULARLY proud of. :D)
Date: 2010-08-12 09:21 pm (UTC)A COMIC BOOK character. A person who has 99% of her daily life shown in shiny books that come out about once a month, that lonely guys all around the world stare at while they're alone and in bed.
...
Uh. Not that I'D know anything about that, of course. And I certainly don't have a pinup of you on the back of my door or anything NO WAIT DON'T LOOK-
I actually like that pic. a lot. XD
Date: 2010-08-13 06:17 am (UTC)Y'all are a sick, nasty lil' creature! Get mah pictuah down raht now before Ah take more than tha' with me!
[She curled her hands into fists]
III'm beginning to wonder if you don't want her to meet up with him at the_love_hotel after all.. xD
Date: 2010-08-14 03:22 pm (UTC)[Oh, he's an offended octopus now! He squibbled frantically, tentacles waving in agitation.]
The NERVE of you! You think you can just barge right into a mollusc's home, comment favorably about his video selection, then try to walk off with his room decorations? That poster was EXPENSIVE, you know! If you want it, you're gonna have to give me something in return, like
sexy fun timesa kiss![Honestly, it's a good thing she doesn't know about his creepy Stalker Shrine in the basement.]
OMG NOOO! XDD
Date: 2010-08-15 09:05 pm (UTC)[She clenched her hands into fists, advancing on Ultros.]
So cough it over - for nothin' in exchange - or Ah'ma pound ya 'til yer pur--
[Well, he's already purple...]
-- 'Til y'all are black an' blue!
Hey, if she thought Tony was all hands... *Is cracking up too hard to continue*
Date: 2010-08-16 12:18 am (UTC)But at the last, he managed to find himself a backbone. (Not HIS, of course, but one he'd collected as a souvenir.) And he drew himself up in squelchy defiance!]
You wanna hit me, Hotness? Then HIT ME! I still won't be giving up my precious poster, because...
[And that's when the guitar came out. He's got a SONG to sing!]
PFFFFFFFT! XDD
Date: 2010-08-16 03:31 am (UTC)[No sooner than he had started to sing than he found her yellow boot upside his head. She kicked him hard.]
Shu'up ya nasty lil' thing!
*Snerks* Of course, Although if she REALLY wanted to try someone who knew how to multitask...
Date: 2010-08-16 04:10 am (UTC)And then DASHED to the window and threw the shutters open.
HELP! SOMEBODY! POLICE! MURDER! RAPE! DOMESTIC ABUSE! HAAAAAAAAALLL-UPH!!
[It didn't seem like he got to yell for very long.]
...Eew. XD I don't even have an icon to express this...
Date: 2010-08-16 09:10 pm (UTC)[Her eyes widened, and she rushed over to the window. She shoved him out of the way, and shut them quickly.]
Whaddaya think y'all are doin'?!
[She turned on him with blazing eyes.]
VICTORY
Date: 2010-08-17 03:31 am (UTC)I'm sorry baby we can make it work out I don't want to lose you PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!
[And in the distance, the faint sound of sirens...]
NOT YET YOU DON'T!
Date: 2010-08-19 07:56 pm (UTC)Look here, ya nasty lil' thing. [Points at him for added effect.]
Y'all are gonna tell the police tha' nothin's happenin' here, or Ah'm gonna pound ya into a pulp. Got it?
ARE YOU SUUUURE~?
Date: 2010-08-19 08:45 pm (UTC)I- I tripped, and... and fell down some stairs, yeah that's it
Perfectly normal and not any abuse at all, you wouldn't hurt me unless I made you I'm sorry bein' so BAD, baby
[Since he's too afraid to look her in the eye, he's looking down at the remains of his guitar instead... and kinda sounding like he wants to cry.]
MAYBE!
Date: 2010-08-20 07:01 am (UTC)Yuck! Forget this, Ah'm outta here!
[She stepped around him, attempting to leave...]
Re: MAYBE!
Date: 2010-08-21 02:54 am (UTC)Baby I'll be good I promise just don't leave me ALONE again!
[Which is when the police cruisers pull up, the officers coming out of the car and sizing up the situation.]
"We were notified of a domestic disturbance; if you folks could kindly break things up and let me an' my partner in on what's going on?
[For his part, Ultros started and kept his eyes down again, darting quick glances toward Rogue as he stuttered nerviously.]
OH! Uh, n-n-nothing's wrong here, of-of-officers! I just, uh, tr-tripped, nothing to- nothing to worry ab-about.
no subject
Date: 2010-08-23 06:15 pm (UTC)[The cops actually showed up. Rogue's eyes widened. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation...]
[BUT! This thing was a creep.]
He's lyin'! He's got some kinda perverted picture of me, an' Ah want it gone!
[She pointed as she spoke.]
no subject
Date: 2010-08-27 06:00 pm (UTC)[The officers had immediately grabbed at their guns when the octopus started yelling, but when it didn't look like any violence was about to occur they let go again.
Even so, Rogue was getting a DISTINCTLY skeptical look from the both of them.]
"Ma'am, that's a right bruised-up fellow you got there- and is that a BOOTprint on his head? Looks to be about your size, too... Daresay y'all ought to come back to the station house with us, answer a few questions."
[Of course, it was at this point that Ultros managed to mollusc up and tackle the officer who'd been getting out his handcuffs- He hadn't intended to use them unless it was necessary, but Ultros didn't know that!]
IT WASN'T HER I DID IT IT WAS ALL ME DON'T YOU EVEN THINK OF TAKIN' HER AWAY SHE DOESN'T MEAN TO HURT ME I LOVE HER!
This is ridiculous. XD
Date: 2010-08-28 06:21 pm (UTC)Git offa 'im!
[Being the super strong woman she is, she was easily able to pick Ultros up with both hands and hold him over her head. She grimaced as she did so, watching his tentacles flail about.]
Officers, Ah'm awful sorry about all of this. Ah've never met this thing in mah life 'til now.
And here I thought that was its best quality! >:D
Date: 2010-09-03 12:13 am (UTC)[His tentacles twitched around her arms spasmodically, as her superhuman grip sank into his boneless head; it was like she was SQUEEZING HIS BRAIN.
And at this point, the police have their guns out and pointed in her direction, as they stare with wide and frightened eyes.]
"Jenkins! We got a Metahuman Abuse situation on our hands, call for backup!" [And while Jenkins in his cruiser called out a Code 12814, the policeman that was still standing addressed Rogue... and his voice only shook slightly.]
"Now ma'am, it would be in everyone's best interests if you put the slimy disgusting citizen down and just stepped away. We don't want any trouble, and hopefully you don't neither; let's just set down the ugly octopus and all behave like rational people."
[The officer in question may have a SERIOUS chip on his shoulder when it comes to invertebrates, spineless bastards that they were, but he wasn't going to let his personal opinions interfere with his duty to protect the peace. And Ultros? Well, right now Ultros could taste yellow and smell music; his brain isn't getting treated very well at the moment.]
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 04:23 am (UTC)((OOC: Mwuahahaha...I couldn't resist, and Marcy's thread is up if you want to..ah...go and meet her...XD))
no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 03:41 am (UTC)someone at lasta lady just couldn't resist my CHARMS, eh?[Wicked chortling is of course a must, as he broke out Leer Mk. 2 on the vampchica.] Can't say I blame you.
((No doubt, and I'll be sure to tag. Hooray, I've found someone who tags as slowly as I do!))
no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 06:55 pm (UTC)And isn't it great to slow tag things? XD))
Do go on, your highness...
no subject
Date: 2010-10-04 04:15 am (UTC)[Hmm, so that advice he got from that dude in the junkyard was LEGIT! Talk about yourself, and girls will think you're interesting...]
Well, I could tell you all about my exciting and glamorous adventures as a gladiator aerial cowboy love machine, but words are so cheap anymore... Why don't I SHOW you?
[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA- You didn't see this!]no subject
Date: 2010-10-04 03:30 pm (UTC)Show me? And how can you do that, dear?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-05 11:44 pm (UTC)[She called him 'dear!' Wow, his mojo must REALLY be on today.]
No trick at all, sweet thang. It just goes a little bit something like this...
MIIIIISTER CHUUUUPON!!!!!!
[And down comes his buddy, sweeping pinkly in from a bright blue sky! And crashing through one of his windows damnit, this ALWAYS happens! Still, the important point is impressing the girl!
Which is how this picture happens.]
Hehe~ Wanna take a ride, Hotness?
no subject
Date: 2010-10-06 01:41 am (UTC)((OOC: Where did you find it...? It's ADORABLE!!!))
((OOC: ))
Date: 2010-11-28 11:58 pm (UTC)