Date: 2010-08-12 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Ah love tha Ultros Boogie!

Date: 2010-08-12 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

A GIRL actually visited HIM? Holy crap, this was a red-letter day! Okay Ultros, be suave, be cool...]

Well of course you did, Gorgeous. It's all about sophistication and CLASS, don'cha know. And speaking of classy...

[He'll come in to take her hand, meaning to bestow a slimy kiss on the back of her glove.]

Do you spend much time in forests? Because baby, I'd swear you fell out of the sexy tree and hit every branch on the way down.


Date: 2010-08-12 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

[She quickly jerked her hand away him, clutching it to her chest with her other hand. Her brow furrowed as she stared down at him.]

Keep ya slimey paws offa me! Or whatevah ya wanna call those things. Who are ya, anyway?

*Bows* I live to serve.

Date: 2010-08-12 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Okay, okay, so she's acting like all the other girls who 'arrived' at his place before... damnit, he thought he was getting better at this whole coolness thing!]

Who am I!? You just told me how much you like my dance number, and you actually have to ASK who I am!? I'm the mighty Ultros, damnit! Famed in story and song, known for his deadly Tentacle technique that sends you to Heaven!

...And no, you don't get to start adding 'in bed' to the things I say. ONE TIME WAS ENOUGH.

...I so want that plushie... XD

Date: 2010-08-12 06:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

[She pauses for a second, glancing up at the video, then back to him.]

Ya're Ultros? [Does another double take]
Sorry, Ah jus'...thought ya were a character in a videogame. Not a real live octopus.

Everyone does! :D

Date: 2010-08-12 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Oh for the love of-]

Real live octopus ROYALTY, thank you. And hey, you're just a (really hot) character from a comic book, but that isn't stopping this conversation, now is it?

[Ultros SCOFFS at your pathetic Fourth Wall! He laughs it to scorn!]


Date: 2010-08-12 06:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
'Scuse me? Ah'm a wha'?!

[Haha. Silly Rogue. Only Barakapool gets to know the secrets of the Marvel universe in correlation to our own.]

(It was one I'm PARTICULARLY proud of. :D)

Date: 2010-08-12 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

A COMIC BOOK character. A person who has 99% of her daily life shown in shiny books that come out about once a month, that lonely guys all around the world stare at while they're alone and in bed.


Uh. Not that I'D know anything about that, of course. And I certainly don't have a pinup of you on the back of my door or anything NO WAIT DON'T LOOK-

I actually like that pic. a lot. XD

Date: 2010-08-13 06:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Okay, she's ignoring the entire first part of what he said.]

Y'all are a sick, nasty lil' creature! Get mah pictuah down raht now before Ah take more than tha' with me!

[She curled her hands into fists]
From: [identity profile]

[Oh, he's an offended octopus now! He squibbled frantically, tentacles waving in agitation.]

The NERVE of you! You think you can just barge right into a mollusc's home, comment favorably about his video selection, then try to walk off with his room decorations? That poster was EXPENSIVE, you know! If you want it, you're gonna have to give me something in return, like sexy fun times a kiss!

[Honestly, it's a good thing she doesn't know about his creepy Stalker Shrine in the basement.]


Date: 2010-08-15 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Ah ain't tryin' ta walk off with nothin', but Ah sure as heck ain't about ta leave tha' here so ya can rub ya slimy tentacles all over it!

[She clenched her hands into fists, advancing on Ultros.]

So cough it over - for nothin' in exchange - or Ah'ma pound ya 'til yer pur--

[Well, he's already purple...]

-- 'Til y'all are black an' blue!
From: [identity profile]
[He'd backed up at the sight of the royally pissed woman, back away back away...

But at the last, he managed to find himself a backbone. (Not HIS, of course, but one he'd collected as a souvenir.) And he drew himself up in squelchy defiance!]

You wanna hit me, Hotness? Then HIT ME! I still won't be giving up my precious poster, because...

[And that's when the guitar came out. He's got a SONG to sing!]


Date: 2010-08-16 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Alright. He asked for it.]

[No sooner than he had started to sing than he found her yellow boot upside his head. She kicked him hard.]

Shu'up ya nasty lil' thing!
From: [identity profile]
[He SLAMMED hard into the wall, showing both impacts clearly on his squishy form. Getting up again, he wobbled a little, all woozy...

And then DASHED to the window and threw the shutters open.


[It didn't seem like he got to yell for very long.]
From: [identity profile]

[Her eyes widened, and she rushed over to the window. She shoved him out of the way, and shut them quickly.]

Whaddaya think y'all are doin'?!

[She turned on him with blazing eyes.]


Date: 2010-08-17 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Ultros cowered away from her terrifying wrath, cradling his broken guitar as he looked up at her with fearful eyes.]

I'm sorry baby we can make it work out I don't want to lose you PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!

[And in the distance, the faint sound of sirens...]


Date: 2010-08-19 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[She could vaguely make out the sound of the sirens. She cursed to herself, then shot Ultros another hard glare.]

Look here, ya nasty lil' thing. [Points at him for added effect.]

Y'all are gonna tell the police tha' nothin's happenin' here, or Ah'm gonna pound ya into a pulp. Got it?


Date: 2010-08-19 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[The octopus nodded hastily even as he cringed away, eyes lowered to avoid meeting her glare and pissing her off even more.] You got it honey I won't tell them anything

I- I tripped, and... and fell down some stairs, yeah that's it

Perfectly normal and not any abuse at all, you wouldn't hurt me unless I made you I'm sorry bein' so BAD, baby

[Since he's too afraid to look her in the eye, he's looking down at the remains of his guitar instead... and kinda sounding like he wants to cry.]


Date: 2010-08-20 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Her nose wrinkled.]

Yuck! Forget this, Ah'm outta here!

[She stepped around him, attempting to leave...]


Date: 2010-08-21 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Ack! He immediately swung back in front of her, looking up with pleading eyes.]

Baby I'll be good I promise just don't leave me ALONE again!

[Which is when the police cruisers pull up, the officers coming out of the car and sizing up the situation.]

"We were notified of a domestic disturbance; if you folks could kindly break things up and let me an' my partner in on what's going on?

[For his part, Ultros started and kept his eyes down again, darting quick glances toward Rogue as he stuttered nerviously.]

OH! Uh, n-n-nothing's wrong here, of-of-officers! I just, uh, tr-tripped, nothing to- nothing to worry ab-about.

Date: 2010-08-23 06:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Oh crap...]

[The cops actually showed up. Rogue's eyes widened. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation...]

[BUT! This thing was a creep.]

He's lyin'! He's got some kinda perverted picture of me, an' Ah want it gone!

[She pointed as she spoke.]

Date: 2010-08-27 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Ultros skittered away from her pointing finger, clutching his head and trying to avoid any followup violence.] NO BABY DON'T HIT ME!

[The officers had immediately grabbed at their guns when the octopus started yelling, but when it didn't look like any violence was about to occur they let go again.

Even so, Rogue was getting a DISTINCTLY skeptical look from the both of them.]

"Ma'am, that's a right bruised-up fellow you got there- and is that a BOOTprint on his head? Looks to be about your size, too... Daresay y'all ought to come back to the station house with us, answer a few questions."

[Of course, it was at this point that Ultros managed to mollusc up and tackle the officer who'd been getting out his handcuffs- He hadn't intended to use them unless it was necessary, but Ultros didn't know that!]


This is ridiculous. XD

Date: 2010-08-28 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[With wide eyes Rogue watched the scene unfold. She couldn't even form a cohesive thought about it.]

Git offa 'im!

[Being the super strong woman she is, she was easily able to pick Ultros up with both hands and hold him over her head. She grimaced as she did so, watching his tentacles flail about.]

Officers, Ah'm awful sorry about all of this. Ah've never met this thing in mah life 'til now.
From: [identity profile]
Nygggh... nyggggh...

[His tentacles twitched around her arms spasmodically, as her superhuman grip sank into his boneless head; it was like she was SQUEEZING HIS BRAIN.

And at this point, the police have their guns out and pointed in her direction, as they stare with wide and frightened eyes.]

"Jenkins! We got a Metahuman Abuse situation on our hands, call for backup!" [And while Jenkins in his cruiser called out a Code 12814, the policeman that was still standing addressed Rogue... and his voice only shook slightly.]

"Now ma'am, it would be in everyone's best interests if you put the slimy disgusting citizen down and just stepped away. We don't want any trouble, and hopefully you don't neither; let's just set down the ugly octopus and all behave like rational people."

[The officer in question may have a SERIOUS chip on his shoulder when it comes to invertebrates, spineless bastards that they were, but he wasn't going to let his personal opinions interfere with his duty to protect the peace. And Ultros? Well, right now Ultros could taste yellow and smell music; his brain isn't getting treated very well at the moment.]


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